I am going to throw up oh my god

this is the real reason I left the harry potter fandom because it’s all mistaken identities and glamours and polyjuice and lack of consent and it makes me fucking queasy oh my god this fic will never fucking end.

you guys

nothing makes me more anxious than mistaken identities and I am sitting here literally having an anxiety attack over fanfiction at 4 in the morning but I can’t stop reading it because what if it gets resolved and I stopped reading so I don’t know?

what if instead of using tumblr for like, anything else

i just used it for liveblogging Stargate: SG1. Because like. It’s probably happening.

Life update.

Dear Tumblrites:

Below is a summary of my life to date.

Beware.

Read More

The difference between healthy eating and disordered eating?

tw: ED’s, specifically compulsive eating and maybe anorexia?

For like, forever, I’ve been a compulsive eater, and it’s been a problem and I am totally happy being fat but sometimes I have gained close to 15 pounds in as many days and I need to step back and look at my decisions and try to fix my life.

And the problem is, it always takes until my clothes don’t fit or someone makes a comment because I’ve been eating this way since I was like, 10, and it’s really the norm for me. But when I noticed it, I try to change something.s

And that usually ends in “healthy eating”….which I am pretty sure for me is just another form of disordered eating. 

See, when I am watching what I eat, I either sneak food (which is just more compulsive eating) and then deny it to myself and pretend like it’s totally okay, or I just like, really do not eat enough. And I don’t do the gym, because that is not the person I am, but the last time this happened, I walked A LOT for weeks. Like, excessively.

So now I am at the place again. None of my pants fit and I’m just always fucking eating and I have no idea what to do with myself because ideally I’d like to fit into my clothes, but I feel like I’m fighting fire with fire and eventually I am just going to turn into my mother NO QUIERO.

Ugh. I’m sorry. It’s three in the morning and I am getting my nipples pierced tomorrow and I am stressed (although currently not eating) and I just need to say this to the internet. I have a problem, and I have no idea what to do about it.

if I had a dollar…

…for every time I spent a Friday night talking angrily about gender to people who refuse to educate themselves and keep insisting they are right, I would be fucking rich.